Tag Archives: inspiration

Today is November 27, 2017. I am alive and well.

Like usual, I have no idea what I’m going to write on this blog. Of course, I hope you all had a fabulous Thanksgiving. I love the holidays and don’t experience them as stressful. But then I don’t cook and the only gift I buy is for my roommate.

I have thought much about my sister who’s a crystal meth addict and homeless. I actually dreamt of her last night. In the dream she was showing me her teeth, of which she only had a few, and the sores on the inside of her cheek. She told me that the infection from her sores would ultimately spread to her jaw and then follow her bone to her ear, making her deaf in that one ear. I asked my sister what meth did for her. Her response, “I’m rocketed to a new dimension, much like what happens to people of faith visiting with God. It is thrilling. My trip is thrilling.” That was the end of the dream.

I haven’t given up on my sister. I know the truth currently is that my sister has no desire to give up meth. I found a place where she could live for free for a year and they would provide for her all her meals. All she has to do is give up the drugs and get sober. She said no. She is three years younger than I am, 50-years-old, and I would guess that she has been using drugs for over 25 years.

With sobriety, I am safe. I am a sober drunk, 24 years sober,  with a healthy fear of drugs. My drug use amounts to me trying marijuana once. It left me paranoid and rocking in the corner of a room. Thirty years ago, this same sister told me I just smoked it wrong. Ha. How does a person smoke it right or wrong?

I am completely aware of the fact that I could be her. I don’t know why I was led to sobriety and she wasn’t. Out of desperation, I latched on to a program of recovery. I’m certain my sister has felt desperation at some point. I’m certain she suffers. Neither of these two things have brought her to her knees.

I will be warm this holiday season. I will eat good food. I will be physically clean. I will surround myself with people I love and who love me. Life is good.

Advertisements

Today is September 1, 2014. I am alive and well.

I never know where the inspiration for a delightful day comes from. I’m awake enough to know when I see it, which is good because sometimes it is subtle. The following was not subtle.

I went to my mental health site to see the psychiatrist, whom I thought would be Sharon. No Sharon. Instead a Dr. Elliot. A man rather than a woman. Jeannie, the administration assistant, told me I would like him. When he came out to get me from the waiting room, he shook my hand and said “I am alive and well today.” He was following my blog!! And he ordered my book Mind Without a Home!

Once in his office, he showed me a card I had sent him. I had seen him before! And loved him. He’s a Southern gentleman who loves opera and classical music. And he loves what he does professionally. I sent him a card in thanks, wishing he could be my permanent doctor, but he is a visiting doctor.

I was hesitant to see a male doctor, and look who it was. I was jazzed. The morning reminded me that I don’t know what will come with the day, but often times it is better than I would have imagined.

Today is a new day. I hope to remain open to the experiences it will offer.

Good cheer to all.